after many checking about redirecting to page from event recievers I understood that my best option it to di it from itemadding event and not itemadded.
that does not means that I can neglect the itemadded event code that I had, so in item adding event I called a page which in it there is a SPLongRunningOperation, and there actually the itemadded event code it running.
after the code it finished I calls :
operation.EndScript(window.frameElement.commitPopup());
to close the dialog (dialog that opened while adding new item to a list)
My problem is that after closing that dialog I want to redirect to another page , and no stay on my list... I tired many things nothing works for me....
Hope for guideness TIA